Peadar O'Guilin Interview

Cool interview with Pedaar O'Guilin, author of The Inferior and the upcoming The Deserter. I have the first and loved it, and I'll definitely be picking up the sequel when it comes out. I also stalk Peadar's blog, because he cracks me up. It's a strange thing for me to discover someone new who has my same sense of humor.

Zombies! Zombies!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Prepare yourselves! The invasion is nigh!

Muahahahaha!

Ten Things

Ten Things

Ten things I have learned about writing -- a la Elizabeth Bear and Ben Peek. This can also be read as a Stages of Writing thing, as these are largely consecutive "steps", to my mind. So:

1. Don't eat the crayons, even if "purple tastes gooooood". No, really. Put that down; it's not meant for that.*

2. Young talent must be nurtured. A child who has a certain knack for, say, writing stories in English class needs to be taken aside and told it in order to make them realise that they're special, to encourage them and (more importantly) alienate them from the dickwad jocks around, breeding a seething resentment of their low status in the high school pecking order. Compensatory arrogance and narcissistic rage are the powerhouse of the creative impetus.

3. Writing is 100% inspiration and 100% perspiration. It's what you breathe and what you sweat, all of it, equally. It often stinks for that reason, but not devouring shit will usually improve this state of affairs.

4. Flattery is for fuckwits; ruthless critique is the only critique of any value. Workshops can be valuable then, but if a workshop session doesn't make you want to kill someone** it's not worth shit. Even if it does you probably won't listen to the content and rewrite your crappy mood-piece / novel fragment / background summary so it's an actual fucking story. You will however want to a) get your own back on the bastards b) show these fuckers that you really are a genius, so there. In attempting to achieve the first you will hone your critical skills. In attempting to achieve the latter you will apply those skills to your own writing.

5. Learn to kill your darlings. But torture them first. And after you've killed them, strip the meat from their bones, take them apart and build them into one motherfucking huge serial-killer-style shrine. Alternatively, put them back together and reflesh them with muscle and sinew sliced from your own naked body (or neighbourhood pets) and vat-grown in your underground laboratory; raise them from the dead as a glorious army of skeletal warriors, unquestioning servants in your plan for world domination.

6. Shoeboxes full of adolescent scribblings make pretty fire. Should your army of undead sentences rise up against you, ceasing to obey your every whim and becoming instead an unruly mob seeking equal rights and inclusion in every story or novel you try to write, putting all of them -- every last motherfucking one of them -- to the torch will liberate you to start anew, utilising the skills acquired over five-ten years of twiddling and tweaking. As a wise man once said: exterminate all the brutes.

7. There is really only one way to be a writer: start writing, carry on writing, and keep on writing until it's five in the morning. A mix of uppers (e.g coffee) and downers (e.g. cigarettes) can keep you balanced for an indefinite period on the knife-edge between consciousness and complete collapse. This is known as "the Zone". Remember: sleep-deprivation is the poor man's hallucinogen.

8. Bad writers burrow; good writers steel themselves and face the fucking consequences when the monster they've created gets loose and runs amok inside their heads, raping innocent memories and pillaging knowledge, growing in might and violence until the landscape of the mind is all but consumed in chaos. Fear not. Once you have tamed the monster it will be a loyal friend and ally, demanding only the occassional virgin sacrifice. And that's what virgins are for.

9. "Art" is a poncy term for craft combined with flair. What distinguishes the talented writer from the good writer (c.f. Delany) is having the audacity to take on an insanely difficult project and the panache to fail gloriously, shrug it off and start on another even more insanely difficult project. Pretentious writing is only pretentious because it is not ambitious enough. Your detractors will not make this distinction, but what do they know? Bastards.

10. Fuck that shit.

* 1a. This simple childhood rule applies also in adult life to: playing computer Solitaire; browsing the interweb; checking email; surfing for p0rn. If you are doing any of this you are eating the crayons. Stop it now.

** 4a. If the someone that ruthless critique makes you want to kill is yourself then you are not a writer and never will be. You are a delicate flower... to be snipped off and worn as a buttonhole by men of cruel wit and savage passions.

...
Once again, I have stolen something off of someone else's blog. This time it's Hal Duncan's, since I was on there for the last post looking for something else entirely. Also, read the comments on his page!

"Good Books Don't Have to Be Hard"?

Ok, I respect Levi Grossman. However, I have to call bullshit on his article in the Wall Street Journal. Catherynne Valente (my hero) beat me to the punch here, and in fact brought Grossman's wrong-headed meandering to my attention. However, I still need to grouch a little bit.

Grossman seems to think there is some sort of vast intellectual conspiracy, which looks down upon contemporary literature and plot and calls it 'popular fiction', 'entertainment', 'escapist', and not at all literary. The crap he spews on the 'evils' of Modernist literature stands on its own.*

I'd spend more time on this, but I need to go home and write my book. Read his article, Valente's response, and if you have a few dozen hours to kill read Hal Duncan's blog. All of it. (I tried to skim through really fast and locate a few of Duncan's posts on genre and on literary fiction vs. popular fiction, but of course since I'm actually looking for them they are nowhere to be found. But, they are there, and they are excellent, so I encourage you to go on the hunt.)

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I want this book- Rhetorics of Fantasy by Farah Mendlesohn. Fuck yeah.

*All the words in quotes are mine, not his.

Punk Subgenres

I have mixed feelings about this trend- mannerpunk? Really? Stitchpunk? What the fuck? Splatterpunk made me laugh, though. Mythpunk I like, steam/clock/dieselpunk etc., and of course I've always loved cyberpunk...but this feels like we're just overdoing it, now. Not everything has to be punk, you know? Or else there would be no point to being punk...

Anyway, here's the article I'm fussing about.

Bookstore Horror!

I was shelving history books downstairs. The store had just had a recent influx (or rather, glut) of history titles, and it was taking a team of us to get everything put up in a timely manner. So, I was happily humming to myself, shifting British history books along the shelves to fit everything, when I noticed a slim black paperback tucked behind the Margaret Thatcher biographies. Take note of that- behind the Margaret Thatcher biographies. Then, imagine my horror when I pulled out the book and read the title.

How to Impress Any Woman.*

Margaret Thatcher.

I cried a little, laughed hysterically, cried a little more, and ran upstairs to share my discovery with my coworkers and now the world.

* OK, so I'm not totally sure if that's the actual title- I was a little traumatized and I don't have the book with me at the moment. But, you get the idea.

Outer Alliance

So...I'm way late in doing this (the day everyone was supposed to post was actually the 1st...but we'll pretend) but I figured I'd join in the fun anyway.

*Deep Breath* (Wow, it's like coming out all over again!)



As a member of the Outer Alliance, I advocate for queer speculative fiction and those who create, publish and support it, whatever their sexual orientation and gender identity. I make sure this is reflected in my actions and my work.

The next step is supposed to be a link or an excerpt or something something something reflecting one's work in queer spec fic...but, um, yeah. What I want to post is still just a title and an idea in my head, and I've convinced myself that everything else I've written is crap (or just WAY too long to deal with...or on the computer without internet access!) so I refuse to post here. That said, I have the vague goal of getting the particular piece mentioned above written soon enough to submit it to Crossed Genres, which is doing a LGBTQ themed issue. We'll see if I can get my head together soon enough to pull that one off- and we'll see if it's even remotely good enough to get published.

Speaking of coming out- submitting my "I want to join" post on the Outer Alliance's page may have been the most intimidating thing I've ever done in my life. Calling myself a writer when I've never been published (I'm not counting my local junior college magazine- especially since they wouldn't take genre fiction), and calling myself a blogger when I have one reader (hello, Aeri) seems a wee bit pretentious and insubstantial. That, and the Outer Alliance's membership list is composed of a number of my personal heroes- Hal Duncan and Cat Valente, guys! There are so many heavy hitters on the list, and more sure to come...and here I am, saying "Oh, um, I'm really nobody, but can I listen in on the awesomeness going down here? I'll be quiet and good, I swear..." and hoping no one tags me for an impostor.

Oh dear...class starts in an hour and a half and I need to find lunch. I sort of like having a computer lab to hang out in for the four hours between my classes! I think I'll be able to blog a little more often now.

(FYI- The Monk by Matthew G. Lewis is one of the funniest freaking books I've ever read. Am I alone in this?)

I WANT

This shirt...and this shirt. Both are available on The Softer World's website, which also has various other awesome goods floating about. I'm not a huge fan of the comic strip itself, but their merchandise (well, at least the shirts) kicks ass.

And holy hell, this is the second post in two days! I'm on a roll! (Though probably now I won't post for a month. Oh well.)

20 Facts About Neil Gaiman

I stole this from Book Spot Central (which apparently stole it from Jim Hines). It was too good to pass up. (My favorites are 5 and 11.)

1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check. Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
7. Most agents charge a 15% commission. Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse. The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book. This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
16. Hitler actually won World War II. Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending. However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.